I'll tell her everything then
by CookieDarkness
Summary: I had no idea about Sasori... I never knew that this was what he really was. Everything makes so much sense now. Yet it's so unbelievable at the same time... (I'm bad at summaries, sorry.)
1. Chapter 1

"I want to know what happened. I want to know everything. Your whole life" The woman looked at me, her cold, blue, emotionless eyes, staring into mine. She wants to know everything, I'll tell her everything.

As a child, I lived with my mother and my twin brother, Sasori. The flat we lived in was in an extremely poor state. There was a crack in the ceiling of our living room, and whenever the people who lived above us took a shower or a bath, water leaked onto the carpet, making it damp. The flat smelled of something bad, we never did find out what it was. The front door was the only decent thing in the house. It was very secured, and only on rare occasions would Mother ever go out.

Of course, I can't really remember much about that because I was only about 4 or 5 at the time.

I remember me and Sasori used to play hind and seek in the house when Mother was sleeping. She didn't like us being in her way. Although sometimes she'd be in a really good mood and she'd play with us and once she took us out and bought us candy. That's my best memory of that time.

She was happy, and she held our hands as we walked down the street to the sweet shop. It was only a small place from what I can recall, only sold a few things. She bought us both a lollypop and a pack of haribo. It was the best, I remember comparing my haribo to Sasori's on the way home.

Her mood lasted for about a month I think. Then things got bad. She shouted at us a lot, and told us to go away. I don't remember anything else from that age.

On my 5th birthday, someone knocked on the door. They continued to knock until I went and looked through the letter box. It was Grandpa. It turned out, that we were moving in with him, no more damp cold flat.

Grandpa's house was so much better than what we were all used to, it was big, it was warm, it was so nice. The main room in the house that I cared about was the attic; whether that's actually classed as a room or not is another topic. The attic was quite big, and it had tons of old interesting things in there, boxes upon boxes of it. Me and Sasori could've stayed up there for hours and hours.

I distinctly remember one time when we were in the attic, we were just looking through a suitcase we'd found, and Sasori pulled out a small circular object. I didn't realize what it was until Sasori said the following words. "Bang! You're dead, Deidara!" His childish voice was raised slightly, an excited expression on his face as he pointed the bomb at me, he tried to press a button on it, but it was stiff and he wasn't strong enough.

"I want a turn too, Sasori!" I whined at him as I reached out for it. He jumped back but tripped over a shoe, the bomb slipped out of his hands and I ran and picked it up. "Bang! Now you're dead!" I shouted triumphantly, jumping up in the air mimicking him.

We laughed, but we heard a noise. Mother was coming up the stairs. We thought nothing of it and I continued to point the bomb at Sasori and shout 'Bang!'.

"My god, Deidara! What are you doing!?" Mother dashed across the attic, almost tripping over multiple things. She snatched the bomb from me and held it cautiously, carefully dangling it from her index finger and thumb, holding it away from us and away from herself as if it might go off on its own accord.

"Where did you find this Deidara!?" she demanded. "Bombs are very dangerous, you could have been killed! You're a very, very naughty boy, and I'm going to tell grandpa exactly what you've done. He'll be very angry with you."

Tears welled up in my eyes. I didn't want Grandpa to know I'd been bad.

"Sasori found the bomb" I blurted out, pointing my finger accusingly at him. "It was his entire fault."

"Tell-tale," Sasori muttered.

Still holding the bomb at arm's length, Mother glared at Sasori who was standing sullenly beside me.

"Then you're very naughty too, Sasori," she snapped angrily. "Now get downstairs where I can keep an eye on the pair of you!"

I don't know what happened to the bomb. I don't even know whether Mother told Grandpa, although I don't think she did, because although I waited in dread for the scolding, he never said anything.

The reason I remember this so clearly, is because Sasori mentioned it last year. We were doing a car boot sale, and Sasori just casually asked "Do you remember when I found that bomb?"

"Yes" I replied. "Mother had a fit."

"Well I don't think it was broken." He turned away from me so I could no longer see his face. "I think the button was stiff, that's all. We were too little to press it properly. It would've actually worked too. Did you realise that, Deidara?"

I shook my head. At the time I didn't think anything of it. But that remark came back to haunt me. I think that's another reason I remember it so clearly; even if I was only about 5.

Around the same time that year, me and Sasori got sent to a nursery. 3 hours a day, 3 days a week. Grandpa had been trying to convince Mother ever since we moved in.

Nursery was a fun time for me and Sasori. I think Grandpa and Mother wanted me and Sasori to separate a little and find other friends, although we didn't. We stayed together. One of my teachers asked me every day if I would like to do something with all the other children, and every day I'd answer with the same reply, 'No thank you, me and Sasori would like to go and do this instead'. She'd sigh and give me a concerned look before she let everyone go and do what they wanted to do.

Nursery was fun, but it also hid a sinister incident that happened after 3 weeks of us attending. Sasuke Uchiha, he'd taken an instant disliking to me, and he was quite snobby to be honest. He always thought he was better than everyone else, and he'd push people out of the way in the line to get to the front. I didn't like him.

Sasuke was mean to me, he'd take my orange juice and pour it down the drain, he'd break the things I liked to play with, and he'd kick me under the table.

Then one day, when me and Sasori were playing in the Wendy house, a small hand crept through one of the windows, and pulled my ponytail eye-wateringly hard, making me cry out loudly. I remember seeing Sasuke's grinning face as he ran off and I burst into tears. Sasori instantly stopped what he was doing and comforted me. "I'll be right back okay? I'll go and get you some tissues." He'd said. I nodded and tried to recollect myself, sniffing and rubbing my eyes. I got up and began to set out the pretend table, singing to calm myself down.

Suddenly, I heard an ear-splitting scream of agony and ran to see what it was. I gasped as I saw Sasuke lying outside the Wendy house, very still. His arm was twisted at a sickeningly awkward angle underneath him. I recall thinking that it served him right. I didn't realize that Sasori was nowhere to be seen.

Sasuke Uchiha was taken to hospital. Apparently he'd been pushed hard, the nursery teachers asked us all, we all denied it. He didn't return to the nursery. I never had to see him again.

I didn't ask Sasori if he did it. I had my suspicions though.

At the age of 12, something else happened. I was in school, and I'd forgotten to do my homework. My teacher, Ms. Smith, shouted at me in front of everyone, she told me to stand in front of the class and tell everyone why I hadn't done my homework. As I stood in front of everyone, a few people started laughing at me, and I began to cry. It was extremely embarrassing, and I hated Ms. Smith after that.

But the day after that happened, the newspaper had an article that caught my eye. '**TEACHERS CAR TARGETED BY VANDALS**'. I read the article; it was Ms. Smith's car. I remember thinking, 'Did Sasori do that do Ms. Smith's car?', the thought kind of scared me, in a weird horrific way.

I tried talking to Sasori. And he did reply to me, it just wasn't quite the same. He seemed sad, yet angry at the same time. And I didn't know why.

When I was 13, I got into the high school I wanted, and Neji was in the same school, we were in the same form and everything. My English teacher took a liking to me. Apparently I had an amazing imagination, a writer's imagination. Then when I was 14 she entered me into a competition; I had to write an essay on the people that are important to me.

I won the competition, and Sasori gave me a huge hug. I was happy I'd won, and Sasori said I should become a writer when I'm older, my English teacher said it too.

I'd written about my English teacher, my mother, my grandpa, and Sasori; my English teacher, big mistake. My principal read my essay out in an assembly to the whole school. I was so angry at him. But what happened after this was not what I thought would happen at all.

When I got home that day, the news was on; someone's house was burning down. I didn't really think anything of it until the news reporter said, "The high school principal is safe and so are his family, their house however, it's not exactly in good condition. They think a bomb of some sort started this fire. This is Amanda Hopes bringing you the latest news."

This seemed too coincidental. And Sasori wasn't home yet. I'd searched for him, but he'd gone. I was sure he did this, but it sickened me to think about it, was my brother capable of doing that? Was it the bomb from years ago?

I decided to go out for a walk, clear my mind and stuff, you know. But I didn't notice the car. I didn't notice the car as I stepped out onto the road. Everything happened so fast. It hit me, with such force; I got shoved about a metre away. That's when I blacked out.

The doctor leans over me, "How are you feeling, Deidara?" He asks.

I ignore him. "Where's Sasori?" nobody responds to me.

"Where's Sasori?" I repeat.

And then, too late, I realize what I'm saying.

Even in my confused and dazed state, I know that I have made a huge mistake.

The doctor frowns. "Deidara," he says gently. "Tell me, who is Sasori?"


	2. Chapter 2

"I have told you about the people that are important to me, my English teacher, who gave me inspiration and hope, my mother, who didn't give up, and my grandpa, who is just my lifesaver." Dr Wilson reads aloud. "But no one is more important to me than my twin brother Sasori, who died when I was born."

Dr Wilson lays the pages of my essay down on the table. I'm in hospital after the car accident, but not just for that anymore. I got a broken wrist and a lot of bruising from the car accident, but they're making me see Dr Wilson, she's a psychologist or a psychiatrist. I don't know the difference. I've been having sessions with her for the past few weeks.

"Look." I jump to my feet and begin to pace the room. "I know you don't believe that Sasori is a ghost. I know you think I've made this up."

I've told her everything now, why doesn't she believe me?

"Maybe he didn't do those things I told you about, but it seems too much of a coincidence, doesn't it? And if Sasori didn't do them, who did? There's no one else..."

Realisation hits me like the car hit me in the road. My knees give out, and I collapse to the floor.

"You... You... You think it was... Me," I whisper. "You think I'm Sasori." I pull my knees to my chest and rock back and forth before stopping and standing up again and raising my voice. "You think I'm two people inside my head!? That doesn't make sense!"

"Split personality, Deidara."

"If I'd done all that stuff, I'd remember..." My voice becomes quiet and croaky.

"Not necessarily, Deidara. The mind plays tricks on us."

"I'm Sasori." I say as I look at my hands in disbelief. I can no longer hold back the tears for the brother I thought I had. He doesn't exist anymore. He never existed. Only in my head.

It's cute though, right? For a 5 year old to have an 'imaginary' friend, lots of children had that, it's okay. But an 8 year old with an imaginary friend, is not okay. I soon learnt from the odd looks and the things that were said about me, to keep quiet.

He was angry. No... I was angry. It was me.

Everything becomes clear to me. I used Sasori as a way of showing the loathing, the recklessness, all the explosive feelings that Deidara could not express...

I'm lying in my hospital bed with the sheets over me. I'm crying. I'm crying for my brother who's never coming back. It's like he's dead. But he never really existed, so there's no point in getting upset. That's like getting upset over something that hasn't even happened yet.

I wipe the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand; I know that I'm stronger now, just as Sasori wanted.

"Goodbye, Sasori," I murmur softly. "I don't need you anymore."


End file.
